I tried my best to meet her expectations. When she told me i got my edusave money, she said it in an angry tone. She even gave me the letter angrily. When i got my eagles award, she gave me an angry face. Is she angry that her first daughter had gotten money since two years ago? Why the hell is she angry?
When my 3rd sister is getting ready to go to airport, she asked my 2nd sister to bathe after her while i lie on the bed waiting. Not until both my sisters are prepared then she finally realised that she has another daughter so she asked me, "Kakak tak ikut?"(Do you want to follow?) I continue on to be silence, wanting her to put her hands on my shoulders and persuade me to follow. Instead she went out of the room muttering. I was like so angry then, saying to myself like i was to talking to her, "If you dunwan me to follow, dun bother asking me. I dunno why you even bother to do so."
When she and my dad asked me to follow them to help with my relative's wedding, i followed obediently. But then on the way back in the van, she complained, "Kenapa tak suruh adik ikut?" (Why never ask your sister to follow?) I did not answer. My father then asked me the same thing, "Tak pujuk adik ikut?" (Never persuade your sister to follow?) I bit back my retort, wanting so much to say, "If you dunwan me to follow or help you then dont!"
When my parents and my aunts wanted to go out, i asked if i could follow. She said no, but i persuaded her anyway. But when i gotten ready, she went into the room and ask my sister whether she want to follow. What is this?
I used to think of running away from home, but then i realise that all of my money is with my mum. I work hard every Sunday to get that amount of money but she took it away. I gave it to her, wanting to help. But when i ask her for money, she would not give me. What the hell is this?
She dun love me anymore is it? What have i done wrong? Have i not been a good daughter? When she disallow to go canoeing or dragonboating, my aunt said maybe because she loves me more. I used to believe it but now i dun, not with the attitude she is giving me.
I dunno how long i can survive this, but i am just going to live here alone, since no one cares. Not even her. Only GOD.
Yesterday, i dreamed that my phone and my mp4 can be switched on. When i tried just now, they did not and that saddens me even more.
Not even a great amount of food can cheer me up. Besides, i am getting fatter.
no more powerpuff girls.
